John 3:1-12     

Nicodemus Visits Jesus

3 Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. ² He came to Jesus^[a] by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with that person.” ³ Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.”^[b]4 Nicodemus said to him, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” ⁵ Jesus answered, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. ⁶ What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. ⁷ Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You^[c] must be born from above.’^[d] 8 The wind^[e] blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”⁹ Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” ¹⁰ Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things?

¹¹ “Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen, yet you^[f] do not receive our testimony. ¹² If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?

The profound message of this story about Nicodemus is that spiritual transformation happens in conversation. We are not transformed only by intellectual pursuit, by following all the rules, or by being ideologically pure. People are not transformed by magic, even if there is a burning bush. Transformation happens in conversation.

Consider these examples. We wrestle with God like Jacob wrestled with an angel. Like Job, we ask the hard questions about suffering and evil. As Mary encounters angel Gabriel, she questions him, "How can this be?" Like David, we confess where we fall short and ask for the grace to be better. We might laugh like Sarah and Abraham at the outrageous promises of God. We gaze at the burning bush in wonder but quickly say we cannot do what God asks.

My New Year's resolution for 2024 is to have more important and challenging conversations. For five months, I have been doing three things. First, I try to have at least one conversation every week with someone outside my regular work as a pastor. Second, I keep learning logs from all my conversations. Third, I am reading my fourth book on topics like better listening, the art of asking good questions, and how to have difficult conversations. I'm convinced that if we long for connection with the living Spirit of God, we must find a way to have more deep, enriching, and challenging conversations. These conversations include more honest self-talk, learning to be curious about people with different experiences than me, and, most importantly, learning to listen deeply for the Spirit of God. This encounter between Jesus and Nicodemus is the first of five conversations in the Bible that we will explore through the end of June. 

It's surprising that Jesus and Nicodemus, a Pharisee, speak to each other. Pharisees believe Jesus is doing it all wrong. He eats with sinners and works on the Sabbath to heal people. Jesus plays fast and loose with the Torah law. By the end of the Gospels, the Pharisees aligned with rival Sadducees and even Romans to deal with the threat they felt from Jesus. Jesus directs his most stinging rebukes at the Pharisees. He pronounces seven woes in Matthew's Gospel, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones." For good measure, he adds that they are a brood of vipers. These conversations are not lessons from Jesus in the gentle art of verbal self-defense but reflect a deep polarization of values. Jesus is constantly attacked and is not neutral about the Pharisees. It is a surprise that someone like Nicodemus would come to Jesus with an open mind. He is a Pharisee, but he is Jesus-curious. 

Who is Nicodemus, and why is he talking with Jesus? Nicodemus is a Greek name, not Hebrew. How is he on the Sanhedrin, the most influential group of Jews in Jerusalem and a Pharisee, but has a Greek name? Nico means "victory." The feminine is "Nike," the Greek goddess of victory, who had speedy shoes. "Demos" means people. So, Nicodemus means "victory of the people." Why doesn't he have a good Jewish name like Joshua (or Jesus), which means "God delivers?"

My point is that Nicodemus was likely cross-cultural. Perhaps this gave him the curiosity and capacity to reach outside his ideological tribe and talk with Jesus. What motivated Nicodemus to speak with Jesus? 

Pharisees lived a highly disciplined life. Nicodemus prayed when he woke, kept kosher at his meals, and could likely recite from memory most of the 693 laws of the Levitical code. He is a student of the Torah who reveres adhering to its commands. As a Pharisee, he was not a fan of the Temple sacrifice system but of scriptural study. In the previous chapter, Nicodemus may have seen Jesus clearing the Temple and setting free the sacrificial animals. He may have thought, here is someone who will be on our side. This Rabbi Jesus knows that Torah is more important than animal sacrifices, and he knows how to make a statement. Politics make strange bedfellows.

This conversation is fraught. Jesus has over 60 interactions with Pharisees in the Gospels, and this is one of only three remotely positive. No wonder Nicodemus is there at night for a clandestine meeting. He understands the fundamental dynamic of polarization. The talk is private because Nicodemus fears his friends, not his enemies. Trying to be a bridge-builder between rival groups can get you in a ton of trouble. It is lonely on the bridge because both sides may reject you. You are in no-man's land. 

In the 1998, Dr. Bernie Slepian was murdered in Buffalo for serving at a Planned Parenthood Clinic.  The local newspaper brought eight people together for dialog, and I was the pro-choice clergy representative. The fact that I was clergy made me a lightning rod, and I was attacked in the letters to the editor and got a stack of hate mail about how evil I was to condone murdering babies, and the level of Hell I might expect. 

But I persisted in my desire to be a bridge-builder. I wanted to have a private dialog with someone who protested at the Planned Parenthood Clinic. I picked someone I thought as a partner because who was sincere and soft-spoken. We had an engaging hour together, sharing our religious backgrounds and how we came to our positions, and we even agreed on a few things. We were encouraged to return to our groups and see if more people wanted to join us. Soon after, he informed me that his group was furious that he was even talking to me. It was participation with evil to have dialog. And when I shared my experience with my Planned Parenthood friends, they had that look of "What were you thinking?" 

One person said, "There is no talking to those people." But I had once been one of "those people." I had joined the picketers as a college student in South Dakota. I went to an Evangelical college, and abortion was the big issue, where you proved whether you were a true believer or not. I changed because someone took the time to patiently listen and gently challenge me to see another point of view. For me, to give up on building bridges feels like giving up on my younger self and the possibilities of transformation.

Let’s explore the conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus. Nicodemus opens graciously, noting that Jesus has accomplished much, and he could not have done so without God's help. Jesus's first response throws Nicodemus off track, "Truly, no one can see the Kingdom of God unless they are born from above." 

Nicodemus's carefully calibrated legal mind misfires, "How can anyone be born after growing old? Can one enter a second time into the mother's womb and be born?" We might assume Nicodemus is being too literal, thinking Jesus meant an impossible physical rebirth. But Nicodemus doesn't strike me as stupid. I wonder if he is also speaking in metaphor.

Jesus, surely you understand human nature. People aren't just spiritually reborn. The older you get, the harder it is to change. Spiritual growth comes from hard work, reading the Torah daily, and staying pure to all its commands. Faith requires discipline, will, and effort to stick to the precise path of the Torah. That is how we are born from above.

Jesus responds, "Truly Nicodemus, you must come from water and Spirit. The wind blows, and you hear the sound, but you don't know where it comes from or where it is going. That is how you must live in the Spirit."

Here is the challenge Jesus brings. The spiritual life is not an accomplishment but an encounter. It is not what we achieve but what we receive. Obviously, I think studying scripture is vital, but it makes no difference unless I allow its words to bring me into a relationship with God and others. I know people who read the Bible annually but don't change; they don't love better. They are reading the Bible to support their arguments rather than to encounter the love of God. Being born from above, or born again, comes from an encounter with God's Spirit, who creates a new relationship. Every relationship is affected by that experience. Jesus tells Nicodemus, don't just try to win me to your cause. Come find out who I really am, and let's meet God together. 



You might think this dialog failed at the end, but Nicodemus shows up twice in John. He defends Jesus at a meeting of the Pharisees, saying that he should get a fair hearing (John 7:50-51). Here is a surprise ending. Nicodemus comes to claim Jesus' body after the crucifixion. He brings all the embalming spices. We don't know if Nicodemus became a follower, born from above, but at least he respected Jesus. The Eastern Orthodox Church claims Nicodemus as the patron saint of curiosity. That may be the most important takeaway from this story. As we encounter differences in conversations, lean into curiosity. I’m not saying you should start with a pro-Palestinian protestor or the first guy in MAGA hat. At least once a day someone says something that bothers you. You feel the reaction run up the back of your neck. Take a breath. Be curious. Maybe you will learn something new. Curiosity is step one. We have four more weeks to explore conversations that transform us.